14: Real

Real

2012 Food Trip # 14

Kanto

Mandaluyong City, PH

February 29, 2012

Project: Food & Thoughts No. 14

Real.

A friend of mine just recently got heartbroken. She hit rock bottom. She was devastated. We spent time chatting and texting talking about it. She couldn’t stay home long because she would spend the whole time crying.

I knew she needed some time off her worries and that’s what friends are for, so I asked her to join me in one of my food trips. Needless to say, all our other friends joined us.

I wanted this trip to be simple, real and special. I looked for a place that would best fit these qualities, and boy, I found one!

We went to KANTO – Gourmet Breakfast "street" style. We tried the following (hold your breath):

Batangas Beef Tapa @ P90-

Crispy Pork Belly @ P90-

Spam and Eggs @ P90-

Breaded Pork Chop @ P90-

Fluffy Pancake @ P60-

Pampanga Tocino @ P90-

The place looks like your regular Pinoy tapsihan but the experience and the taste bring you a fine dining experience. Not to mention, it's very pocket friendly.

We all enjoyed the food, the talk, the fun and the laughter. When silence makes its way to break the conversation, even for a second, we are reminded of the heartbreak Joyce is going through. We would ask her questions so she can let it all out. I was impressed by her courage and how real she was in expressing her feelings. She cried in front of everybody while explaining the pain she feels. 

Sometimes, we have to have that kind of honesty - to tell people exactly how we are suffering and how much help we need.  I was impressed by how transparent she was.

In the middle of the day (or night), I would receive a message from Joyce telling me of how painful the breakup was for her and I understand her because I have gone through the same in the past, we all have, right?

I would console her and tell her words that I feel are important that she hears. She would feel better and, in no time, the pain will go back again.

A heartbreak is a heartbreak no matter what age. I have often said that we all become 16-yrs. old when in love, so every heartbreak is painful. Worse, we lose our self esteem. It dampens our spirit. 

Whenever I talk to people who experience a heartbreak, a common question that I get is "When will the pain stop?" "When will I stop crying or hurting?" And my response would always be in the same - "I don't know." I don't. I wish I do but I don't. 

I believe it's important for us to be real when giving advice to anyone. We cannot sugarcoat and hurry things up. When we hurry things, it does not complete the healing we need to go through. If we ask them to stop crying when they really feel like crying, it also stops them from expressing the pain. Crying doesn't mean we are weak. Crying is good. Good crying is better. We cry because we get hurt. Moreover, we cry not for the person who left us or has hurt us. We cry because it is part of healing ourselves.

Healing can take overnight, or days, or weeks or years. We don't know. But we should go through all the stages so we don't come back to any of them. Go short term. Give it a day or a week. If it does not go away, give it another day or another week. If it, still, doesn't go away, give it another day or another week until such time when you're no longer counting.

Above all, do not rely on your own strength and abilities nor your friends'. Rely on the True Source of peace and strength because no matter what we do or what our friends and family do and tell us to do, none of the good things that we wish will happen will ever come to pass without God.

Apart from Me, you can do nothing. - John 15:5B

Even if I know that we (her friends) will stick by her side all the time, I know only prayers can make her heal completely and in a timely manner - not fast nor slow but in perfect pacing where she can reap her life lessons from every stage she passes by.

And just like everyone else who has gone through a heartbreak, she would look back at this and smile (sometimes laugh) at what she had gone through. And all the heartbreak survivors said "Amen".