Pinhole Reflections: The Two Sides of Forgiveness

As I was reading through Genesis I came across the story of Joseph the Dreamer. I was blessed. Not that it was my first time to know about it but, more so, because it felt like I was reading it for the first time.

In case you forgot the story, let me remind you.



Photo taken July 9th 2010.



Joseph is a son of Jacob and he has 11 brothers. He is his father’s favorite. One day, he dreamed that his brothers will bow down before him. This aroused jealousy in the hearts of his brothers.

To get rid of him, his brothers plotted to kill him but ended up selling him as a slave instead. Joseph worked hard and found favor in the eyes of Potiphar, a powerful man in Egypt. Potiphar’s wife noticed him and set him up to her advantage. Joseph was sent to prison. 

While inside, he met a baker and a butler who had weird dreams that no one can interpret but Joseph. Eventually, Joseph’s ability to accurately interpret dreams reached Potiphar who requested for his services when he had a dream that no one else can interpret for him. Joseph’s interpretations were correct so he found favor in Potiphar’s eyes , was freed and later on appointed him a post in the government. There were 7 years of abundance and 7 years of great famine in Egypt just as Joseph interpreted Potiphar’s dream. The famine was so severe that it reached Canaan where Joseph’s family lived and suffered. When Jacob found out there is available food in Egypt he instructed his sons to go get some. When they got to Egypt, Joseph recognized them but his brothers did not recognize him. He tested their honesty in many different ways. Eventually Joseph noticed that his brothers have changed and so he revealed himself. Finally, Jacob is brought to Egypt to join his family and see his beloved son Joseph again.

(Read the whole story from Genesis Chapters 37-50.)

On the last Chapter of Genesis after Jacob died, I was particularly moved by these verses:

When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrong s we did to him?” So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: This is what you are to say to Joseph: ‘I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now, please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” WHEN THEIR MESSAGE CAME TO HIM, JOSEPH WEPT.

(Genesis 50:15-17)

We have all been wronged and I am pretty sure we have all wronged someone. We have been in both sides of the table. We know how each side feels. Sometimes we wonder which side is more painful.

To be wronged by someone can bring most of us to tears. It is so painful that we feel like our heart is being stomped on and ripped off our chest. Believe it or not, being on the opposite can be just as painful. Guilt creeps in and, to some, can give sleepless nights.

Have you been wronged so bad that just thinking about it takes your breath away? On the other hand, have you ever been wronged but eventually learned to forgive and forget even if the offender didn’t really ask for your forgiveness? You see, we don’t need to hear a plea of forgiveness to be able to forgive someone. It could happen in the most silent way. It could happen without anyone knowing. 
Have you ever been wronged and forgave the offender this way? Have you ever been wronged and forgave the offender this way but still weep when you finally hear them ask for your forgiveness?

I have been, many times. I have been wronged by a lot of people whom I have silently forgiven but have been swept off my feet when I finally heard them ask for it just like Joseph has been.

You see, we have to free ourselves from anger and unforgiveness and learn to forgive. But we also need to learn to free others by asking for forgiveness even if we already know we have been forgiven. If you have wronged others, ask for forgiveness. If others wronged you, forgive silently even if they didn't ask for it. If they did, please let them hear it. It can free both sides.

Forgiveness is not a heroic act or a saintly expression. It is, in fact, a gift from God. We are capable of forgiving only because He first forgave us.