The Lives of Dave and Grace: After the Trip

Grace just arrived from a long trip and was startled by a surprise visit from Dave. She was upstairs when she heard a familiar voice she had wanted to hear.

She said, “Yeah, it’s him!” She hurriedly followed the voice and hoped it was not a dream. She opened the door. He was wearing a pink polo. Her thought bubbles said, “Brave man!” They hugged. It was quick and casual; at least that’s how it came out but they both knew it was indeed quick but definitely not casual.

They sat on their favorite couch not knowing how to start the conversation. To break the silence, he said, “So, I wanna see the pictures!”

She suddenly remembered she promised him she will show him some. She hurriedly went upstairs, took her camera and showed him the pictures.

“This is a good one!’

“Now, this is a really good one!”

“This could have been better if…”

“This one is not so good because…”

She thought “I like him because he tells me what I should hear and not what I want to hear.” She remembered herself saying many times, during their conversations here and there about this and that,  “Do not patronize me. You have to tell me the truth, always.”

Silence.

To break the silence once again, Dave asked “Did you have fun?” She said, “I did but it could have been more fun if you were with me.” He blushed a little bit.

“How are you? What kept you busy?” she immediately stopped the sweet awkward moment.

Like a little child, he started to enumerate all his mishaps - a bruise on his elbow, his back pain, the cut on his finger and a bruise on his leg.  A little bit disappointed, she interrupted and said, “What happened to you? What did you do? I remember I clearly told you before I left that you have to take care of yourself because I will be gone for two days which means you have no one to take care of but yourself!”

He stared at her and said, “This is what happens when I don’t take care of you.”

Iris

Photo taken by Jhunnie and post-processed by Paul Tengco.

There was one point in my life as a kid when I wanted to become an angel. More than anything, I think I was fascinated by how they look or at least how I think they look like – white robe, bright light, sweet smile and the amazing halo. I was, after all, a kid.

Later on in life I put into writing these thoughts I had from that said moment when I was a child and you are about to read it. Believe me; it took me a lot of courage to actually blog this. To me, it was just a handful of magnified words I thought of some years ago, which may not be coherent at all and the organization may not even pass the qualifications of a grade school paper; not to mention my fear of being tagged as “different” or “weird” or “whatever”; but, these were my thoughts and my questions and I should not be ashamed of them. I was, (and still am) after all, a kid.

-Start-  

Do you believe in angels?

Keeping my fascination for “The X Files” distant from this topic, I do.

We have been exposed to “angel stories” in all forms and sizes. Whether we believe it or not, the idea is appealing. It unexplainably allows us to get in touch with The Greater Power. It somehow encourages us to contemplate our spirituality which brings us back to the basic questions of our existence. What am I? Why am I here? What am I made of?

Have you experienced staring at yourself in a mirror, and suddenly you just feel so far away from yourself? It’s like staring at a different person. Try staring at someone you know very well. Look closely at how s/he moves or talks and suddenly have this crazy feeling of not knowing him/her at all. Am starting to freak you out with my thoughts? Hope not. The Mystery of Existence – our metaphysical connection to each other and the cosmos. This is the reason why we get so fascinated by stories we don’t normally hear. We need answers to questions our human minds can’t fathom.

When we were children, we were told that we all have guardian angels. We were told to listen to whatever good things that little voice tells us. When we got older, we named it conscience. As we age, we become more factual, logical and sometimes, a little too scientific. We don’t normally buy “angel stories” anymore.

So, the inevitable question – do I still believe in angels? The answer is YES; but, I also believe that not all angels have wings. Aside from the millions of angels in heaven, we also have a bunch on earth. So don’t look for halos or wings. Don’t wait for a descension from heaven. Some angels are in flesh – could be the person next to you, or the one preparing your dinner every night, someone you love or even someone you despise.

Have you found yours? If you have, then you’ve been blessed to have been touched by an angel. If you haven’t, think again, someone might have just found you.

-          Written November 1996

-End-

Thank GOD for angels, with or without halos. J

Eavesdropping on Dawson's Creek - My Quack Thoughts

Tyson: (to Jen, while watching Dawson and Joey dance) You know I don’t get it. They make such a great couple. Why would Joey wanna be with a fruit fly ? (Referring to Jack, Joey’s boyfriend,         rumored to be gay after reading a controversial poem he wrote in his English class).

Jen: Jack is not a fruit fly.

Tyson: Oh, common Jen, he’s playing for the other team.

Jen: You don’t know that.

Tyson: If it looks like a duck, talks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck!

Jen: Why does it even matter even if he says he is …a duck?

Tyson: It’s his choice. I mean if he wants to quack, more power to him.

Jen: You see, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a choice that you make.

Tyson: You see that’s what they want you to believe; that it’s not a choice, but

             everything in life is a decision and all ducks choose to quack and Jack is

             definitely a quacker.

Jen: Are you kidding me or are you serious?

Tyson: I’m completely serious. Nobody has to quack if they don’t want to.

At Jen’s home after the date and dinner prepared by Jen’s grandmother who has been encouraging Jen to come church and consider having faith in His existence…

Gramps: (to Jen) I really like that Ty boy Jen.

Tyson: That was a great sandwich Mrs. Ryan! (to Gramps)

Gramps: Would you like a lil’ more milk Tyson?

Tyson: Ah…No thanks, no thanks! One is my limit. I’m driving.

Tyson: (to Jen) are you upset about something?

Jen: No. (Ty stares at her) No…No… It’s… It’s…you know what? … Yeah! Actually I am.

Tyson: Let me guess, the quacking ducks.

Jen: How can you think that it’s wrong?

Tyson: Well, I never said it was wrong, Jen. I said it was a choice.

Jen: So then you think it’s ok?

Tyson: No. I think it’s wrong. It’s in the Bible… Hey Mrs. Ryan, what’s the chapter that

            condemns homosexuality to sin?

Gramps: I believe it’s in the …Book of Leviticus.

Jen: Gramps, stay out of this, please? Ok? I’m not gonna’ let you two gang up on

         me here. 

         (to Ty) How can you have such a narrow view about being gay?

Ty: How can you be so narrowly liberal?

Jen: Ty, you’re no saint, you know that!

Ty: I don’t claim to be, but one day I’m gonna have to answer to the Big Man and

      so will Jack; and if he’s ready to take responsibility for his actions then he can do

      whatever he wants. I just think that his kind is damaging to the world at large.

Jen: I cannot believe you; for you to suggest that somebody can just magically

         decide to be gay is insane.

Tyson: The facts don’t lie Jen. The gay movement has been nothing but medically

            and morally damaging to this country.

Jen: What?

Gramps: (can’t help but hear them arguing) You know I tried to stay out of this. I

                  have but I can’t Jennifer…just let me just explain…

Jen: No!... No!... Gramps, I’m not gonna let you guys moral majority me here and you

        don’t even know all the facts.

Gramps: What I have to say isn’t directed at you Jen; what I have to say is for 

                  Tyson…

Ty: Look, all I’m saying is…

Gramps: If Jack is gay, he does not need your judgment, young man. The Lord

                 above will be the one to judge him as he will all of us. What he needs from

                 you, from me, from everyone else in this world is love and tolerance. If

                 anything, that boy must feel scared and alone and he will need

                 the understanding of his fellowmen to help him through. Let's save

                 judgment for someone much more experienced than you.

-end-

These conversations may not exactly relfect everything I stand for but if there is one thing I would agree without an ounce of doubt in my heart is the fact that I am in no position to judge any one who may not fit my exact description of this and that. I have gay friends whom I love dearly. I invite them to church sometimes and they do it with such an open heart. I have experienced God's love, faithfulness and slowness to anger so many times that it overflows and makes me want to share it with others, especially the people I love - no matter who they are and who they are not; and whatever happens after is between them and God.

A church should not be a place of condemnation and passing of judgement. It should be a place of forgiveness, compassion and acceptance and no soul should ever feel unwelcomed.

Just my two quacks worth!

Coming of Age

I tried to sleep to no avail and "trying" to sleep is always harder than not having sleep. I have proven this claim many times. My pile of old writings caught my attention.

 

"Coming of Age" was one of my brave attempts to write and for a writer wannabe to make it to a school paper a few times is already something to celebrate. More than anything else, this was an important stage in my life. This was rejected many times by school papers due to its content (or maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better in the midst of rejection, ha!) ; it was finally allowed for publishing in a school paper where I was a teacher of. It was published a few years from when it was written. Forgive the young writing and any flaws you are about to see. Nevertheless, enjoy!

- Start-

When you’re young, the world seems to be a big movie in your eyes. Everything is possible. Everything can be changed. You can just tell people their mistakes and make them do it again correctly. Millions of questions are popping in and out of your mind and with your meager knowledge and limited experiences, you tend to just sit down and watch the world spin and unfold its dark secrets right before your eyes.

Things do change especially when you get older. You are eaten by reality in a single gulp. Questions are still raised in your mind but this time, they’re not just WHATs, WHOs or HOWs but mostly WHYs and HOW COMEs. You don’t use your accusing finger as often as you used to. You have lowered your standards a bit – low enough to make your feet stand on the ground of reality. You start to understand people and their ways. Suddenly you see human faces and not just biological beings. Your senses are heightened and you start to realize the function of that heart inside your chest. You have learned to reconcile it with your mind. Then, you discover that side of yours you never knew existed. You begin to understand why some parents are forced to leave their children, why not all people who love each other be together, how come some are gay and some are straight, why some couples are compelled to separate, why some have to raise a child alone and the list goes on and on.

You don’t justify wrong deeds. You don’t mix right and wrong in one plate. You know the demarcation lines are clear. You just learn to accept people for what they are and what they are not. You learn to close your eyes, let a tear fall and leave everything to the God who sees our hearts and souls; then open your eyes again and embrace that person next to you.

I can’t say that I’m old enough to know – I guess I’ll never be. I know I still have a long way to go. In my journey through life, I still expect myself and others to stumble once in a while. Amidst all these, there’s only one word to ponder – acceptance. Acceptance, in the real sense of the word like when Jesus entered the house of Zaccheus and ate with him while people outside murmured saying that he was gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner; when He washed the feet of His disciples; when He warned people not to point the mote in their brother’s eyes but not pay attention to their own; when He warned people from throwing stones to an adulterous woman and said that he who hasn’t sinned cast the first stone.

Maybe I was right all along! Maybe, life is indeed a big movie. We are the performers. I just hope we are making a good performance in the eyes of the One True Judge. Yes! He is the Judge, not you, not I, not us.

- end -

These words may not exactly reflect everything that i stand for now that I am older and wiser; because believe me, I've actually reached my Second Coming of Age which you'll probably read about soon. If the above thoughts of a teenager amused you, it would be more enlightening to know that there are actually better things to come after those realizations; But never ever discount the fact that, at times, it pays to learn from the young.

Breaking the Chain

Photo grabbed from http://www.elated.com/imagekits/chain/

On one lazy Sunday afternoon or a busy Monday at work, you get a text message or an email from someone. You smile at the thought of the message. Most of them celebrate human's courage and resiliency, and even better, God's unfathomable love for us. You get so encouraged and even close to tears until you get to the end of the message which tells you to forward it to 15 other friends for the message to be true; and how bad luck is going to strike your life if you don't. I've received my fair share of these chain messages and I have always stood for what the truth is - that there are more sincere ways to prove one's appreciation of someone else; that it is not limited to sending back a chain message; that God's love, blessings and good intentions are always there for the taking and the bumps that we encounter in life are not because of the messages we don't forward.

My view of life, friendship and God will not be chained into some forwarded messages that I have to pass along to taste its benefits. I believe friends are friends no matter what and God is who He is.

So the next time you send me one, don't expect to get it back but know that I can do better than that.

Today, I'm breaking the chain!

Eavesdropping on The Karate Kid (2010)

Jacket On! Jacket Off!

Eavesdropping on The Karate Kid (2010)

This is the conversation between Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) and Dre Parker (Jaden Smith, the cute little kid from The Pursuit of Happyness) on Day One of their Kung Fu lesson.

Mr. Han: Pick up your jacket

Dre: Oh...So basically Mr. Han what I'm trying to say is... I got a good foundation here...You know, like I said... It might not be as hard to teach me as other people you know.

Mr. Han: Hang it up.

Dre: And now?

Mr. Han: Take it down.

Dre: (wondering) But you just...

Mr. Han:   Take it down.

               Put it on.

               Take it off.

Dre: I already did all this...

Mr. Han: Take it off.

Dre: Can you just tell me why I'm doing all of this?

Mr. Han:   Take it off.

               Hang it up.

               Take it down.

               Put it on the ground.

               Pick it up.

               Hang it up.

               Take it down.

               Put it on.

               Take it off.

               Put it on the ground.

               Pick it up.

               Hang it on.

               Take it down.

               Put it on.

              Take it off.

              Hang it up.

From a different scene...

Mr. Han: Kung Fu lives in everything we do Dre. It lives on how we put on a  

             jacket, how we take off the jacket. And lives on how we treat

             people. Everything is Kung Fu.

Does not make sense? ... Watch the movie!

物極必反 Wù jí bì fǎn!

Overflowing Prayer

Our Church has recently finished a 4-week message series entitled Overflow - what the Bible says about finances, money and stewardship.

On the last leg of the series, our Pastors came up with a Church Prayer to end it.

A prayer that clearly acknowledges that God is the source of every single blessing we receive; that we should be generous in whichever way we can resulting to others giving glory to Him through our actions; that when we trust the Lord with all our finances we can see overflowing blessings to the point that our two hands will just be channels of blessings - one receives and one gives. 

Father God,

I repent for believing the lies of the enemy.

I believe that it is not Your will for me to be in lack.

I renounce anything that holds Your abundance from me.

I renounce anything that I have spoken against prosperity and success in my life.

I renounce poverty and the spirit of poverty.

I thank You Lord that You are not against me, but You are for me.

You are my source, the One who supplies all of my needs according to Your glorious riches in Christ.

You will supply me bread for food.

You will supply me seeds to sow.

I will sow and I will be generous on all occasion.

I will be patient and I will wait.

I believe that I will have a mighty harvest!

LORD God I receive your provision, prosperity and success.

In Jesus’ name, Amen!

For a very good reason, a good friend of mine and I attended two church services that day and prayed this twice - in our hearts we kinda' felt like we were "twice blessed". *winks

The Jailbreaking Series: Dennis Llante as a Guitarist

I have always wanted to do this - interview people. I will run my own talk show if I could. I thought what could be a better way to kick this off but to interview my own brother. Aside from being a good brother to me, I look up to him as a musician. God has given him great talent that I am always in awe watching (sometimes, just hearing) him play his guitar. I remember those days when we were trying to learn the guitar through torn chord chart pages from a song mag. Through discipline, faith and constant practice; he has gone a very long way while I was left with G-Em-C-D.

More than anything else, he has grown to be a good man of God and continues to serve him through his guitar.

Know more about him...

Q: What exactly started your interest in music specifically playing the guitar?

A: It just sounded good to me than any other instrument. It's something you can bring anywhere, the guys who played it looked really cool to me.

Q: Your rendition of John Petrucci's Glasgow Kiss was amazing and left some people in awe. How long did it take you to learn it?

A: I'm a John Petrucci fan and he's been a great influence on my playing. It took me a month to learn it, only because I kind of gotten the technical parts down already and I found a great sounding backing track for it from the net. I played it for an event called “Guitar Adrenalin”.



Q: Was there ever a point in your life as a musician when you almost wanted to quit? How did you handle it?



A: I never quit. If I'm in, I'm in for the rest of my life.

Q: Am sure you've had your share of embarrassing moments on stage. Will you share a few?



Photo by Romuald Aldi Maranoc

A: A lot; like wrong chords and notes, buzzes from broken wires..and technical glitches..all of them. But the way I see it, Just keep it real. I don't really cry after a gig cause of mishaps. The whole thing plus the screw ups are one whole big human, mundane, earthly performance. So I'm never really pressured.

Q: Who were your influences when you started? Who are your influences now?

A: When I started playing, I was already into Metallica and Guns n' roses..then Rage against the Machine Stuff..then got into instrumental music..now, I guess I've matured, it's Greg Howe and Guthrie Govan..Kotzen..and a lot of them who are into instrumental music.

Q: Do you play other instruments? On a rate of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how will you rate yourself on them?

A: I've been playing bass. 4.

Q: Now that you just got married, will it, in any way, change your passion's level of intensity towards playing the guitar?

A: For me, my marriage actually boosted everything.; and Guitar Playing is my Job. So I'm one of the few who actually got a Job that they love. I go to work to play guitar. I get paid just playing guitar, writing music and teaching. The rest is all chill with my wife. So I'm living a Rockstar life without the fame and the bad stuff.

Q: I remembered you appeared with your band as guests in NU107 (and even greeted me on air,thank you), you also played (and still is) with famous names; how do you feel during those times? Did you feel like you were closer to your dreams?

A: I think I can sincerely say BTDT..been there done that..There's really nothing too special once you're there, once you've met them or played with popular people. I guess that's how it goes. I never really dreamed or hoped to become some popular dude. I prefer to be as invisible as possible.

Q: What do you think are your greatest accomplishments as a musician?

A: I'm teaching guitar. You can be the best guitar player in the world (or engineer, painter, doctor, chef etc) but if you die without passing it on..for me everything you worked hard for is just stupid crap.

Q: What can you advise aspiring musicians or those who want to be as good as you are in playing the guitar?

A: I'll go against the flow on this one. My advise is... Get a life!..there's more to life than guitar playing. Let that be just one thing you can do. But I will also say that if you want to be good, then do it non-stop. Play non-stop 'till everything is second nature. Good intentions are not good enough. I think it was Yngwie Malmsteen who said it..”If good intentions are all it takes to become good, then everyone will be good”.

The feeling, the color, the smell and the sound of those mornings are still fresh to me. When we were younger, I remember waking up in the morning to the music of Joe Satriani, or James Hetfield, or Slash or Dream Theater. Every single morning, when he wakes up he'd practice playing and do what he loves to do. He was right, he never quits. He did not quit learning the guitar, he did not quit then and I know he will not quit now passing it on. More than that, he did not quit playing it for the One True Musician.

... and I will always be one proud sister.

Here's for your viewing pleasure; his live version of John Petrucci's Glasgow Kiss. Enjoy!

The Jailbreaking Series

coming soon...

Haunted - Poetry

I found a few of my old writings that I was able to save from a fire incident that happened many years ago. One of them is this poem I wrote last November 9, 1998. I am so tempted to share the story behind it but I will leave its own magic to you just like any other poet does.



Photo by Brandon Allen.

HAUNTED

fox llante

far along in life and time

staring at her oil lamp

as her chair rocks her vision

she closed her eyes and fly

her cracked lips slowly uttered

words she has never said

haunted by an undying memory

her tears began and fell.

The Prayer of Eli - Eavesdropping

An Eavesdropping on the movie

"The Book of Eli"

Dear Lord,

Thank you for giving me the strength and the conviction to complete the task you entrusted to me.

Thank you for guiding me, straight and true through the many obstacles in my path; and for keeping me resolute when all around seemed lost.

Thank you for your protection and for your many signs along the way.

Thank you for any good that I may have done. I am so sorry about the bad.

Thank you for the friend I made. Please watch over her as you've watched over me.

Thank you for finally allowing me to rest. I am so very tired; but I go now to my rest, at peace; knowing that I have done right with my time on this earth.

I fought the good fight.

I finished the race.

I kept the faith.

- Eli

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

         - 2 Timothy 4:7

Colgando En Tus Manos, Nicaragua

Colgando En Tus Manos, Nicaragua

In my desperation to practice Spanish I recently shared this song with a good friend, who is also into Spanish version songs; so I have an excuse to sing it and at least there's one person who wouldn't think am crazy while doing it in between piles of work in the office. I'm glad he actually liked it. We sing it even while working and are persuading others to do the same. In exchange, am learning a Japanese song - which I am very, very poor at (at the moment).

Although the song came from Venezuela and popularized by Carlos Baute con Marta Sanchez, this song embodies my memory of my second home, Nicaragua.  Espero que les guste!  

I dedicate this to all my friends in Nicaragua.

Quizá no fue coincidencia encontrarme contigo...

(Maybe it wasn't a coincidence to meet you)
Tal vez esto lo hizo el destino...

(Maybe it was destiny's work)

Quiero dormirme de nuevo en tu pecho...

(I want to fall asleep in your chest again)

y después me despierten tus besos.

(and be awakened by your kisses)

Tu sexto sentido sueña conmigo,

(Your sixth sense dreams of me)
se que pronto estaremos unidos.

(I know that soon, we'll be together)
Esa sonrisa traviesa que vive conmigo.

(That naughty smile that lives with me)
se que pronto estaré en tu camino.

(I know that soon I will cross your path)

Sabes que estoy colgando en tus manos,

(You know I'm hanging from your hands)
asi que no me dejes caer.

(So don't let me fall)
Sabes que estoy colgando en tus manos.

(You know I'm hanging from your hands)

Te envío poemas de mi puño y letra.

(I send poems, which I wrote myself, to you)
Te envío canciones de 4:40.

(I send 4:40 songs to you)
Te envío las fotos cenando

(I send the photos of our dinner)
en Marbella y cuando estuvimos por Venezuela.

(In Marbella and the ones from when we were in Venezuela)

Y así me recuerdes y tengas presente,

(So that you can remember and keep me in your mind)
que mi corazón está colgando en tus manos.

(Since my heart is hanging from your hands)
Cuidado, cuidado, que mi corazon està colgando en tus manos.

(Be careful, be careful, since my heart is hanging from your hands)

No perderé la esperanza de hablar contigo.

(I won't lose hope about talking to you)
No me importa que dice el destino.

(I don't care about what destiny says)
Quiero tener tu fragrancia conmigo.

(I want to have your fragrance with me)
Y beberme de ti todo lo prohibido.

(And drink from you everything that is not allowed)

Sabes que estoy colgando en tus manos,

(You know I'm hanging from your hands)
asi que no me dejes caer.

(So don't let me fall)
Sabes que estoy colgando en tus manos.

(You know I'm hanging from your hands)

Te envío poemas de mi puño y letra.

(I send poems, which I wrote myself, to you)
Te envío canciones de 4:40.

(I send 4:40 songs to you)
Te envío las fotos cenando

(I send the photos of our dinner)
en Marbella y cuando estuvimos por Venezuela.

(In Marbella and the ones from when we were in Venezuela)

Y así me recuerdes y tengas presente,

(So that you can remember and keep me in your mind)
que mi corazón está colgando en tus manos.

(Since my heart is hanging from your hands)
Cuidado, cuidado, mucho cuidado, cuidado.

(Be careful, be careful, be very careful, be careful)

Marta yo te digo me tienes en tus manos.

(Marta, I tell you, you haev me in your hands)
Cuidado, mucho cuidado.

(Be careful, be very careful)

No importa que diga el destino quedate conmigo

(It doesn't matter what destiny says, stay with me)
cuidado, mucho cuidado,

(Be careful, be very careful)

Lo quiero todo de ti

(I want everything from you)
Tus labios, tu cariño, lo prohibido.

(Your lips, your love, that which is not allowed)

Te envío poemas de mi puño y letra.

(I send poems, which I wrote myself, to you)
Te envío canciones de 4:40.

(I send 4:40 songs to you)
Te envío las fotos cenando

(I send the photos of our dinner)
en Marbella y cuando estuvimos por Venezuela.

(In Marbella and the ones from when we were in Venezuela)

Y así me recuerdes y tengas presente,

(So that you can remember and keep me in your mind)
Que mi corazon està colgando en tus manos
cuidado, cuidado...

Que mi corazon està colgando en tus manos
que mi corazon està colgando en tus manos
que mi corazon estò colgando en tus manos

(Since my heart is hanging from your hands)

(english translation: anonymous)