Coming of Age

I tried to sleep to no avail and "trying" to sleep is always harder than not having sleep. I have proven this claim many times. My pile of old writings caught my attention.

 

"Coming of Age" was one of my brave attempts to write and for a writer wannabe to make it to a school paper a few times is already something to celebrate. More than anything else, this was an important stage in my life. This was rejected many times by school papers due to its content (or maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better in the midst of rejection, ha!) ; it was finally allowed for publishing in a school paper where I was a teacher of. It was published a few years from when it was written. Forgive the young writing and any flaws you are about to see. Nevertheless, enjoy!

- Start-

When you’re young, the world seems to be a big movie in your eyes. Everything is possible. Everything can be changed. You can just tell people their mistakes and make them do it again correctly. Millions of questions are popping in and out of your mind and with your meager knowledge and limited experiences, you tend to just sit down and watch the world spin and unfold its dark secrets right before your eyes.

Things do change especially when you get older. You are eaten by reality in a single gulp. Questions are still raised in your mind but this time, they’re not just WHATs, WHOs or HOWs but mostly WHYs and HOW COMEs. You don’t use your accusing finger as often as you used to. You have lowered your standards a bit – low enough to make your feet stand on the ground of reality. You start to understand people and their ways. Suddenly you see human faces and not just biological beings. Your senses are heightened and you start to realize the function of that heart inside your chest. You have learned to reconcile it with your mind. Then, you discover that side of yours you never knew existed. You begin to understand why some parents are forced to leave their children, why not all people who love each other be together, how come some are gay and some are straight, why some couples are compelled to separate, why some have to raise a child alone and the list goes on and on.

You don’t justify wrong deeds. You don’t mix right and wrong in one plate. You know the demarcation lines are clear. You just learn to accept people for what they are and what they are not. You learn to close your eyes, let a tear fall and leave everything to the God who sees our hearts and souls; then open your eyes again and embrace that person next to you.

I can’t say that I’m old enough to know – I guess I’ll never be. I know I still have a long way to go. In my journey through life, I still expect myself and others to stumble once in a while. Amidst all these, there’s only one word to ponder – acceptance. Acceptance, in the real sense of the word like when Jesus entered the house of Zaccheus and ate with him while people outside murmured saying that he was gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner; when He washed the feet of His disciples; when He warned people not to point the mote in their brother’s eyes but not pay attention to their own; when He warned people from throwing stones to an adulterous woman and said that he who hasn’t sinned cast the first stone.

Maybe I was right all along! Maybe, life is indeed a big movie. We are the performers. I just hope we are making a good performance in the eyes of the One True Judge. Yes! He is the Judge, not you, not I, not us.

- end -

These words may not exactly reflect everything that i stand for now that I am older and wiser; because believe me, I've actually reached my Second Coming of Age which you'll probably read about soon. If the above thoughts of a teenager amused you, it would be more enlightening to know that there are actually better things to come after those realizations; But never ever discount the fact that, at times, it pays to learn from the young.